there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
