She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
