why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
