Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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