I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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