Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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