Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
