Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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