Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
