Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
