what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
