just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
