Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
