Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
this just has baby written all over it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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