Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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