It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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