i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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