Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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