would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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