What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
