And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
