Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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