More tranny stories later!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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