there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
