Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
