dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
