on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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