Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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