Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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