The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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