May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
