Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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