I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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