We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
