just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
