it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
