i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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