how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
