She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
