My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
