if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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