Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
