sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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