I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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