Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
