I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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