if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
