i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
