I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
