Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's shark week go big or go home
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
