So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
