whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
